Saturday, March 27, 2010

Laying The Foundation

The Arbinger Institute's Parenting Pyramid Explains the foundations of parenting and how they build on each other, consisting of 1. way of being, 2. relationship with spouse, 3.relationship with child, 4. teaching, and 5. correction.

The more effective parents are at building up their relationships with their spouse, between their children and encouraging appropriate behavior all along, the less time and effort adults will spend correcting a child's behavior. Parents weren't meant to spend most of their time correcting their children. We must focus on how to help things go right, instead of just reacting when things go wrong.

Many times we create the very problems we think we are trying to solve and the surprising way to establish lasting solutions and deep peace in all of our relationships has to do with setting a foundation with strong relationships and teaching so that we will have to do very little correcting.

If you are struggling with correcting your children’s behavior, this pyramid should help you gage how consistent you have been in teaching them. If they are not open to your teaching, check out the quality of your overall relationship with them. If you are struggling to connect to your kids, you might want to invest in reinvigorating your marriage. And if you are struggling in your marriage, you might want to do some introspection into who you are being right now.

I love these ideas because it helps put things into perspective and gives priority to family relationships. It has a lot to to with preventative parenting. If we set a secure foundation from the very beginning and strive to love and teach our children in little ways they will progress and grow in the way of truth and righteousness and be able to advance in success ways throughout their life.

The quality of a marriage relationship is a huge essential part of parenting and such an important influence on your children's view of how to treat others and how to form meaningful relationships. Marriage along with parenting is a process but also there are important habits to sustain and hold to. I want to strive to be the kind of wife and parent that takes inventory regularly of how I match up to this pyramid and not become complacent to old or familiar ways that are no longer effective.

1 comment:

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